SAKURA-CHAN STOP IT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
by MrGreenOink
Summary: SAKURA IS NEW TO HIGHSCHOOL FIRST IMPRESSIONS ARE EVRYTIN RIGHT? SHE SHOVES A FLIPFLOP IN SASUKE'S MOUTH SHE KILLS NARUTO WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO RIGHT? MY NAME IS MARY POO and NOT MARY SUE! Warning : Parody
1. Chapter 1

A/N - Dedicated to my fungi filled cat, bubuss

Sakura entered the classroom.

She saw a bunch of cows look at her in disbelief.

One screamed and threw a knife at her...

A Few Months Earlier

Sakura blushed furiously as her pink hair glided the air so in-sync.

She did'nt even give a shit about signing up and kicked the classroom door as hard as she could'nt.

*SLAM*

She kicked the door so hard it flew 10 years across the classroom and hit a boy with noodle hair.

He died.

Then he lived again.

He haunted her bedroom by whispering in her ear ' you will remain a Shlut, shlut... shl.u.t...'.

Everyone did'nt dare say anything.

Except for one OMG SO SEXY DARK HAIR FIT DROOL OINK! BOY! emo.

'Hn' He simply said.

Sakura, STomped up to his chair and picked him from his shirt.

'WHO THE FUCK U THINK YA R YA DUTTY ARSE, CRUSSSTY CRAB EMO!'.

'Hn' He said emotionasly.

She picked up one of her flipflops and shoved it in his mouth.

'THATS RIGHT CATCH MY ATHLETES FOOT IN YOUR MOUTH'.

The teacher wasn't even there because OBVIOUSLY Kakashi was stalking a black cat that went from europe to africa by swimming, and from their to the moon.

After 1308 years he comes back and sees everyone wiped out by sakuras breath but lets not mind about that.

BACK TO FAKE-ALITY

Sakura PUNCHED a blonde haired boy Called Naruto For ABSOLOUTLY no fucking reason across the classroom and shouted ' DON'T LOOK AT MEH'.

He was unconcious and a girl rushed up to him called Hinata-sama-otou-chan.

'nN-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-AA-RUU-T-OOO-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-UN' SHE stuttered unbeleivebly.

All this happened in 2 minuites.

* * *

ERMA GOSH GUYS IT ENDED FOR CHAP 1 R'N'R SMOKE YA LATER.

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	2. Chapter 2

SOO HAPPY THAT MEH PARODY RECIEVED 3 REVIEWS

* * *

Her first Period went juuuuuuust fine.

A boy called shikamaru was caught saying ' troublesome'.

She gouged his eyes out and ate them.

He mumbled 'troublesome' before he died at reincarnated.

Sasuke was choking on a flip-flop and all his Fan girls Fainting and squealing at the saliva and vomit that he emmited from his mouth. Some even began to collect it as souvenirs.

Naruto was in a very serious medical condition due to his brain being cracked open by sakura.

After about 4 seconds they both instantly regained consciousness and were perfectly fine as if nothing had happened.

Kakashi entered the classroom.

'Hello everyone, sorry i'm late. I crossed a black cat.' he said.

Everyone stood up like it was a debate.

Of course naruto had to shout

'LAIR DONT CHAT SHIT SENSEI. YOU WERE READING SOME ICHI BITCHY PARADISE.'

He got a kunai out of his pocket and carved LIAR on kakashi's forhead.

'Oh i see we have a new student.' He randomly knew her name 'Sakura-chan is it?'

The bitch turned into a goody 2 shoe hoe.

'Y-yes kakashi-sensei. I'm new. Were do i sit?

Of course he had to say.

'Oh, coinsidently there is a space between naruto and sasuke's desk. You go spread your legs in there.'

'Th-thankyou kakashi-sensei-sama-sensapai.' She limped to the seat.

Her inner fangirl squealed so hard she died.

'I think we can be best freinds don't you think sasuke?'.

'Hn'

...

It was lunch.

Naruto came up to her and you can guess what happened.

'HEYYYYYY SAKURA CHAN HOW ARE YOU YOU CAN SIT NEXT TO ME AND TEME OVER THER-' he was interupted by a punch on his balls.

'I HAVE TO GO SEE SASUKE-KUN-FUN-BUM'. SHE Ran to the seat were sasuke was all alone with 74 fangirls withing a 2 metre radius taking pictures and asking him out.

She barged through the bitches screaming ' MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY, GET OUT THE WAY!'.

She shoved sasuke aside and sat next to him.

Naruto sat across them.

...

A bitch called karin was like 'Who is that new fangril whore bitch try'na steal meh sasookie cookie'.

Her minion were doing these jobs for her.

One was licking the floor like a maid that was in a 5 metre radius of her to insure she was clean.

Another was spraying fart freshener all over the place.

Another was sucking her toes.

all her minions agreed and whispered ' yeah who is this bitch taking my-I MEAN karins darlinz(SOME SICK RHYME THERE)'.

They all agreed to bully her.

...

They just had P.e and gai sensei was shouting 'YOUTHFULL LADIES ARE YOUTHFULL' 'MOVE THOSE YOUTHFULL TITS.' ' SHAKE THAT YOUTHFULL HAIR' All lesson long.

When sakura was in the toilet she saw a face under the seat saying 'YOUTHFULL ASS SAKURA'

He drowned in her poop.

,,,

She took of her Triple DDD bra eventhough she was a 28A and entered the shower naked.

a BUNCH of whores looked at her and opened the shower door.

'W-WHAT ARE YOU DOIN U BITCHES U R LESBIAN OR SOMETHING?' Sakura screamed.

one sliced off her hair

one slapped her face

the other - Karin had called her ugly.

She died in depression.

Suddenly, a boy who she had only met for a day rushed in not caring about the girls that were naked.

'Sakura, who did this to you?'. he said.

'Ohhhh sasuke.' She said tears streaming down her legs. She burried her head in his man boobs.

He moved faster than the turtle in the 'hare and turtle' race.

He sliced their boobs off and ran out.

He dropped sakura on the floor and left her.

...

Hometime...

She ran home...

...

She opened the door with a ninja star in her hand.

'Hey honey how your first day at schoo- URGH -*GURGLE*' She threw the star at her mother's neck and ran upstairs.

HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT MOM.

She ran upstairs crying and then she said 'ONLy sasuke can understand the torture i have experienced' eventhough she was only called ugly.

...

IT TOOK ME SO LONG

*THROWS A BOMB AT FLAME REVIEW*

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	3. Chapter 3

teh support u guys gave me was sooooooo nice.

*spits cookies in reviewers mouths*

Eat my children.

* * *

Chapter 3

A/N : Parody

* * *

Sakura could'nt go to sleep that night.

she only thought about sasuke's armpit hair and his nipple-cripples skin.

She could'nt take it anymore.

it was 10:30pm.

she did'nt care about her mum who she has probably killed for no reASOn.

Hey, it's not my fault she is a shit parent who can't inspect her childrens tits and hormones, she thought.

.

.

.

'Goodnight sasuke' , said his mum.

He went to his bedroom and at there with 14 tomatoes all over the place.

he chewed vigorously and drank the remaining tomato juice like it was water.

he spat the seeds outside his bedroom window which landed into someone's throught.

...

Sakura enjoyed being choked because she knew it was sasuke who spat it.

she would have caught his DNA and Bacteria which she looooved to bits.

...

He closed the bedroom window and as soon as he turned around, sakura was right behind him and appeared out of nowhere.

'Sakura, what are you doing here?' he whispered and his fungi breaths tingled sakura's acne as it stroked past them.

'I-i don't know?' she said like she had no idea what was going on. 'I'm-im sorry sasuke-cunt, i should'nt have come here but i wanted to thank you for making their boobs smaller than mine!' She said happily with glow in her eyes and her eyes vibrated constantly like she was spaz.

'Sakura, their boobs will still remain bigger than yours - they are _**much**_ bigger than yours still.' he said.

The glow turned to tears that streamed down her body.

'HOW COULD U SAY THAT U ASSHOLE! I THOUGHT U WERE MY FREIND! I THOUGHT I COULD TRUST YOU AND NOW THIS IS HOW U TREAT ME AFTER I THANK U AND-' Suddenly sasuke did the expected as usual.

He grabbed her neck and waist and closed the gap between their lips.

But it really was the unexpected because it turned out that she was dreaming.

.

.

.

_Sasuke's House_

it was 2:45pm

it was dark and silent.

it felt cold and warm.

Sasuke was asleep in his bed and there was tomato juice like dribble all over his mouth and cheecks and anus.

There were tomato's all over his bedroom.

He woke up as he felt a mumble humble Jumble in his pants.

a dark figure crawled out from under his bed and leapt onto his body with scruffy hair covering it's eyes and it screamed 'BITCH WHY WON'T U LOVE MEEEEEEEEEE'

'ARGHHHHHHHH WTF GET OFF ME ARGHHGHGHGHGHGH ITAAACHI HELP PLZZZZZZZZZZZZ GET ME OUT OF THIS SHIT ITACHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WERE THE FUK ARE U MOOOOM TELL ITACHI TO SAVE MY WILLY!' He yelled in disturb.

The creature with pink hair bit off some hair from sasuke and crawled in 2 seconds out of the window.

.

.

.

I think i can go back to sleep now... it was the best night i have had in years... she thought.

x0x0x0x0x

She woke up and ate some of the hair of sasuke as breakfast since her mom has'nt woken up yet.

She found out it was 11:29am and she was 3 hours late to school.

'OH WELL!' She skipped down the stairs and regained posture when she spaztically fell down the stairs.

Her mum was lying with blood covering her.

It was a miracle that she managed to raise her finger and mumbled ' S-he s-s-s-akura, pl-ease u-u got to ge-t h-hhee-lp'.

She spat on her and went to school.

..

..

..

'YO SAKURA CHAN HOW COME YOU DIDN'T COME EARLY TODAY? YOU EVEN GOT SASUKE THINKING!' sAID NARUTO smiling to see her.

'WHY U LITTLE FAGGOT' She punched his fatal organs.

~10 years later~

'I'm sorry ma'am but your son is dead'

'He was a brave brain damaged, lung destroyed, kidney lossed, penis bitten, scrotum chewed,testicles squashed, heart failiure boy...' said the typical slutty nurse.

NOOOOO NARUTO DONT DIE MY BABY WHYYYHYYYYYYYYYYY-screamed sasuke- I MEAN Kushina.

~Back to Bitch-ality~

He died again and ended up punched all they way to a motor way.

1342 Lorries passed by, 321 ran over him and no one gave a damn about him.

He then flew back like super-ninja-faggot-teemo-man to the highschool in 2 seconds.

'Wait, sasuke cares about me? I HAVE TO SEE MY SASAKAY! ' She screamed shoving him out the way.

.

.

.

'Hello class, in this lesson we will learn how to effectively scrape testicles off perverts...' It was kakashi's lesson.

They all got into groups of 5.

The group 1 was Naruto, Hinata , Sakura , Shikamaru and Sauke. (OBVIOUSLY TEAM 7 NEEEEED TO BE IN THE SAME GROUP OR ELSE THE VIEWERS WILL SHIT THEIR FACES IN 2)

'Ok class, we will disect this frog's penis to show how-' kAkashi-sensei said.

'EWWWW THATS GAY' Protested the childish boys.

Kakashi moved faster than usain bolt and sliced their mangina's with a single floss.

Tut tut tut he said

'OK GROUP LETS GET CUTTING!' SCreamed naruto in ambitiousness.

Sakura prepared a kunai and stabbed the face of Naruto Uzumaki, the son of the fourth hokage and future 6th hokage-shemaze-poopshootallday-guy.

'Tsk, how troubelsome'.

... Sasuke said smiling.

'Hn Dobe, that willy is bigger than yours'.

'Of COURSE IT IS'NT, MINE IS MAYBE 19 CENTIMETER' said noodle neko fox naruto.

Hinata the Pinata flushed furiously and blood squashed out of her cheeks.

'N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-' She stuttered unbeleivebly and contiued for the next 5 minuites.

'DOBE DONT LIE '

'TEME - PHLEGME OF COURSE IT IS LEMME SHOW U!' Naruto unzipped his boxers and showed it to the disbeleived sasuke.

Now hinata had died constantly vibrating and stuttering-NNNNINININIININININ0NN-N-N-N-N-NNONIINININIININININININ

Shikamaru was stunned at all this and began to check how hinata was.

'I-ur-I' Sasuke could'nt beleive what naruto has just done.

'NARUTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO' Sakura got her fist ready to punch naruto but she stopped because shikamaru-poo had used shadow illuminate possesion jutsu on sakura.

'BITCH I'VE HAD IT WITH YOUR COMPLAINTS, GO AND GROW A BOOB OR SOMETHING U TROUBLESOME, Troublesome , troublesome BITCH!' Shouted shikamaru-kun-crum.

He made sakura strip to show everyone her 1inch large boobs.

He then made her choke on the frogs penis and then laughed so hard.

Sasuke could'nt still beleive to what naruto had shown him and now this?

Sasuke IMEDIATLY took off his shirt so his nipple hair showed.

The stench of pig sweat filled the room.

Sasuke showed naruto his hilly-billy-willy.

'TEME-SAMA ITS ONLY THE SIZE OF A MAGGOT'.

The whole class by now was staring at the 5 people.

'Is everything ok titless sakura? ice cube naruto? Maggot sasuke? Troublesome Shika-shika-baby-maru? Hinata-dead-fangirl-squeal-chan?

Sakura couldn't beleive what happened.

Her life was over, or was it?

* * *

I know i am mean and it is getting a bit wierd but i just ate a bannana!

'OINK'

*coughs maggots in reviews mouth'

Eat my birdies.

* * *

Real A/n

As you know this parody was dedicated not to my fungus bubus but to my OTHER Cat, Fungy Buggy,

I AM MEAN TO EVERYOONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SO GET ON WITH IT O K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K 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K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K 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K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K KO K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K


	4. AN

A/N

OK first off all, this is a parody.

It was made for a friend of mine who enjoys it because i always tease them about it.

I have no intentions in reading these reviews like 'wtf no sense. sad story. worst.'

It is a parody and i ma clearly demonstrating the OOC and Mary-sue fanfictions you see.

I am 17 and i know how to write as i got an A in English.

Read my other one's that make sense if you please.

And if you still are on your period, THEN FUCK OFF AND GET OUT OF MY STORY.


	5. Chapter 5

I GOT SO MANY FLAMES LAST TIME THAT I SET FIRE, TO THE RAIN,

Watched him drown as I touched Sasuke's face  
Let it gasp for some air  
'Cause I heard it screeching out your name, Teme-Kun-I-lOVE YOU-sasuke-Okaaaayyyy- ERM SORRY ABOUT MY SHITTY SINGING AND ANYWAYS GO AND READ THE STORY ALREADY.

Real An: This is a parody so be warned for OOC and Mary sue shit.

* * *

She was put to absolute shame.

Everyone hated the bitch even though Shikamaru made her do it.

Wait- why did everyone hate her for something that she couldn't stop-OH YEAH I REMEMBER!

-Flashback-

Everyone stared at those 3.

Sakura knew she would get molested by a teacher or raped by one of her classmates because her humongous large 1 inch boobs were exposed to the public - Classroom.

She couldn't help but notice something that fixated her eyes.

It wasn't Naruto's 'WALAHEE MAYBE 19 CENTIMITRE' , but Sasuke's Maggot.

Sakura had not helped it and dolphin dived at sasuke who was naked.

'OH SASUKE I LOVEEE YOU PLEASE PROTECT ME FROM SHIKAMARU'S SHADOW PERVERTION JUTSU' She screamed.

What she didn't know is that she was able to move free and wasn't in shikamaru's jutsu.

'Troublesome hoe, i only used my jutsu so that i can stop you from killing naruto and i stopped it about there. You were the one who, lets say, did a porno-strip that got no guys happy and yeah i guess your'e just a slut.' Spoke shikamaru so everyone could hear.

The fangirls AKA Karin... WALKED IN... DID THEIR CRUSTY ARSE HAND ON HIP POSITION AND SLAPPED SAKURA so she wouldn't touch sasuke.

-End-

Sakura rushed home and screamed like a Sasquatch to her room.

She phone texted her freind Ino to come over, but she replied like this:

Saku-Hot-ninja-prostitute-babexx666 : Ino, no one lyked me at all - HELP ME PLEASE #FeelingSlutty.

Inopig33: Hey Saku, I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my butt. ;)

...

Sakura sat alone on her bed with all her clothes thrown all over her wardrobe , carpet , bed , window and tv.

She leaned down and picked another tissue and wiped her tears as well as her ass.

She threw it next to the other 76 ones she had thrown earlier.

It was night time and her window was open in-case any boys felt like raping her.

She spread her legs open in her Bed and ate some lobster smeared in red sauce.

She was allergic to it so she had a armpit rash.

The tv was on jeremy kyle show.

This episode was called 'JUST BECAUSE MY BOOBS ARE SMALL, IT DOESN'T MAKE ME UGLY'.

She had watched some of the other shows for the past 2 hours.

She watched hairspray and cried when the girl was called fat.

She ordered 6 pizzas, 12 Double ham cheese pig fat burgers, 3 huge chocolate cakes and a huge hot red chilli pepper which she used to cure any rash from the lobster - Despite it making her worse.

The pizza boxes were thrown carelessly all over the room and she gained another stone from that night.

.

.

.

The next morning she had P.E with Gay sensei.

It was a athletic session to test your stamina and speed.

In the 100m race, sakura outran everyone by far.

She finished in 2.31 seconds while everyone else at the fastest of 13 seconds.

She defied the laws of physics.

'Alright youthfull children of konoha high, the next youthful event is to have an Youthful opponent to youthfully spar with.'

'YOUTHFUL FORHEAD, GO TO THAT EMO OVER THERE!'

Sasuke and Sakura were paired up.

.

Moments later, they just had the most Intensed love sessio-I MEAN spar.

Sakura had the strength of a virus - She managed to harm and remain undercover, he couldn't get rid of her.

She ripped up his shirt with her kunai so she can see his abs.

The abs scorched the sun.

Before he could complain about anything, she squealed 'MARRY ME BTCH!' to make him bleed from his ears.

.

.

.

The session had almost finished.

Sasuke was injured so he was taken to the medical room were slutty nurses were 'examining' him.

He lay on the bed.

...

Screech...

WHAT WAS THAT? He thought.

Scoff.

Sakura had craweled out from under the bed and said ' mhmmm SURRRPRIZE BITCH!

after him freaking out, she gave him CPR because she 'thought' he was having a hard time breathing.

This was because her pants smelt like shit.

Her saliva and mucus was injected into his mouth.

Poor emo couldn't help it.

'I WILL SAVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT SASUKE-CRUMBLE!'

'Hn'

She sat on the bed next to him.

He began, 'You will never under-mish-stand the true pain and torture i felt that day...'

'W-what happened to you sasuke?' She said, acting like she had just seen a ghost.

'That day, i couldn't do anything to stop it.'

'WHAT HAPPENED FAGGOT, GET ON WITH THE FREAKING STORY!'.

'He... Killed my clan. He wore a cloak. There was blood on his lips. He did domething horrible that wants to make me feel sick.'

'I-IM Sorry but what did he do that day?' She said, all anime fangirl emotions running through her mind.

'...' He replied.

'I-im SO SORRY SASUKE, I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE TO STOP IT. it was ALLLLL MY FUCKING FAULT. I SHOULD HAVE KILLED HIM. IT WAS ALL MY PROBLEMS THAT DID IT! IT WAS MY FAULT HE KILLED THEM. PLEASE TAKE ME INSTEAD!' She screamed crying makeup.

'Sakura-chann. it wasn't your fault. It was mine...' He replied colder than the ice-cube we met on holiday.

'NO, I AM SORRY SASUKE. I UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING. IF ONLY I COULD DO SOMETHING TO STOP IT! I KNOW! I WILL GET A SCIENTIST TO BUILD A TIME MACHINE AND I WILL REVERSE EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED.'

'S-sakura are you Crazy?' He said.

'NO, SHUT UP YOU SEXY EMO FANGIRL SEDUCER',

She... StOMPED OUT.. Killed ALL of the ninja's protecting area 51 and talked to some random 68 year old pedophile and made a deal to get her back in time.

'Oh-OINK-SNORT-Boy... this must be my lucky lady day!' The pedo said.

He got up close to her.

He took a good wiff of her breath. He was constipated for the rest of his life and began to vomit a white bubbly substance.

Sakura spat on him for good luck and entered the time machine.

-Back 10 years ago.-

It was dusk.

In another hour it was sure to be night.

She looked around.

The town seemed peaceful.

Right i must go to the uchiha house! she thought.

She ran like watercolours and was a few hundred feet from his house.

'Oh crap! I need a disguise!'

She got a dark cloak and went in bravely.

There she saw a lot of people in the town.

All of them were very lively.

A boy ran up to her and whispered ' I shall not interfere as i can assume that you shall do the deed'

He looked just like sasuke but he wasn't a kid, he was a teenager.

She didn't even bother to care about his wise words and she entered a backwindow of the uchiha house.

It was sasuke's room.

'OMG I AM IN SASUKE KUN'S ROOM! AWW LOOK AT THOSE CUTE PICS AND SELFIES OF HIM! IMA PUT SOME OF THIS SHIT ON INSTAGRAM AND MAKE KARIN JEALOUSER THAN OUR FAT FAMILY OF US!' She squealed.

Just then, she accidentally bumped into a small cabinet and then a small lit candle fell on the floor.

The fire looked like it had gone out so she didn't give a shit about it and checked the other rooms.

-10 minutes later-

Sniff sniff.

There was alot of sniffing.

'Mommy, what is that smell. Has itachi burned another fangirl?' Squealed the insignificant mortal, sasuke-pip-squeak.

'I think that dinner is on fire' Reassured his mother.

His father also went to check because smoke filled the house.

Moments later

'ARHGGGGGGGHGHGHGHHG OH MY GOODNESS THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE NOO! WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!' Screamed everyone.

'W-whats going on mommy?' squeaked the peasant.

Everyone rushed through him like what happened in lion king when the herd of animals killed mufasa.

-Back to sakura-

'Right all i have to do is locate the area of where sasuke is and then -SNIFF- Omg what is that!'

She looked out side the window.

Fire was everywhere.

Everyone was trying to get out but most of them died.

The house was on fire and everyone was burning.

Expect for sasuke.

She leapt out of the shadow and stole him.

She carried him by biting his neck like animals do.

Blood was on her lips.

She then realised that everyone was dead due to the fire, the fire she caused when she dropped the candle on the floor.

It really was her fault that the clan died.

She then realised that the boy who looked like sasuke was itachi and he knew that she was about to do this.

She got back to the modern world in horror.

* * *

DID IT PEOPLE!

It was awesome.

She killed EV 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 11 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 11 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 11 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 11 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 111 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 11 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 11 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 11 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 11 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 11 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 11 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 11 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 11 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 1SPOT THE WORDS IN HERE!1 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 11 1awesome 1 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 11 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 11 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 11lo 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 11 1 1omg 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 11 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 Hi1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 11 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 11 1 1 1im 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 11 1 1pretty 1 1 11 11 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1 11 1 1 11 1


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